Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Randomize
