Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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