You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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