So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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