Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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