Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I will be naked everywhere
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
