you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
