sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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