I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize