no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize