walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
the raccoons are back...
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