You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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