I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize