So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
