i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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