3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize