just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You made out with two different species that night
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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