The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
then he tried to convert me to islam
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
