Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize