BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
