her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"