Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I don't think brook has ever known best
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?