Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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