Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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