i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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