Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
