Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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