member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
