doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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