boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
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