He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
