Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Your cock deserves a montage
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Randomize
