i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
