omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
