we made out on top of his cat.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
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