I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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