the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
