i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
