My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
