i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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