He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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