Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
