Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
