all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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