thus making me awesome and them whores
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
