Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
