there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
