His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize
