My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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