it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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