Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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