remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
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