Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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