I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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