had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
