dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize