her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
