Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
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he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
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Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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