I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
she pinky promised me she was 18
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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