Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
